Title: Humpty Dumpty Marcie
Music du jour: Various artists, The Other Side of Pink: A Tribute to Pink Floyd. Very, VERY strange, but oddly compelling.
I have this really weird mind/body relationship going on. This seems to be typical of most of the IT geeks I know. In high school and college, I was fairly active. I mean, I wasn't a jock, but I did okay with running three or four times a week and doing the weekly sweat routine with the Air Force ROTC detachment. It was fun, once I got used to having my body stretched and bent beyond what I thought of as normal capacity. There's a zing, a little high, that goes along with exercising -- especially when you're nineteen and can wrap yourself into knots if you choose. I liked it.
For the last few years, though, I've slipped into that weird space that happens during major transitions in life. It's the place where you keep telling yourself, "After all this is done and I settle down into a Normal Schedule(tm), I'm going to get back into the gym. I promise. It's just a little weird right now." What I'm beginning to realize is that my life has been in transition for about three and a half years. I'm either moving, changing jobs, going on trips, coming back from trips, or doing something to do with a culturally-sanctioned Big Holiday, which requires me to act the part of the good straight little housewife and send cards and prezzies to everyone I've ever met. The excuse of not having time isn't going to do any more. I'm never going to settle down, I don't think, so I'm not sure what this means for re-connecting my brain and my body.
Let me backtrack a little and try to explain. The thing is, I used to be a whole person, all connected up as part of one big Marcie-package. I had plenty of physical activity to keep my geek gut from expanding, gobs of stuff to keep both sides of my brain occupied, and I even dropped by church once in a while to keep my spiritual self fed. It was a good mix, even though it could have been improved; I didn't really eat right in college, like every other college student in America. But I was in the best shape of my life.
Now I've got this weird thing where it feels like my brain and my body aren't speaking to each other. I'm not eating right, of course, because I never do, and I drink too much Coke, like I have for years. I've gotta fix myself. Therefore, my unofficial project for this year is the Renovation of Marcie. The drawing class is part of my grand scheme. I'm waffling on the gym thing. I ended up dropping the night work-out class after only a couple of weeks. The physicality of it wasn't really a problem, since part of the program is starting at your own pace. The fact that the class kept me out for three hours after work, was. When I get away from work, I'm ready to get away from work, go home, and veg like the couch potato I am for at least an hour. I don't like being gone that late without a break, and certainly not three days a week. Back to Plan B, whatever that is.
I have got to do something, though. I feel like shit all the time now; it's making me cranky. Well, crankier than usual. Mental note to self: find a way to drink more water that doesn't taste nasty.
By the way, it's my mom's 57th birthday. Happy birthday, Mom. :)
-- marcie.