Title: Toilet humor
Ian figured out what Penguin Dust means. I know you're waiting with baited breath, so here it is. *ahem*
"Penguin Dust," Ian proclaimed, "is the powder left at the bottom of a tin of Penguin Mints when you've eaten them all." I was stunned into momentary silence (only momentary, smart-asses) by the sheer brilliance of this. Seriously. It's so obvious, so plain to see, that it completely passed me by. Wow. Tell Ian how brilliant he is. He'll love you.
Just say YES
Okay, bathrooms. Yes, again. What is WITH women and bathrooms? Why do women never want to go if there's someone else in there? Okay, this is what I mean. Ever been in the bathroom and listened to someone else pee (go on, you know you have -- it's not like you have a choice to hear it), and they're trying to pee quietly? Like, they're squinching up and only letting a little through at a time, so as to be quiet about it? We all know why. Nobody wants to pee loudly. It would be embarrassing or something. Well dammit, if you have to pee, PEE already. Let go! Burst forth with a great piss! Damned women. Everybody pees... just go for it. It's not like the woman in the next stall hasn't done it herself.
I see these chicks all the time in the bathroom at Spumco. It's like this. It's 11 in the morning; I KNOW you just got done with your third cup of coffee and you gotta go. You REALLY gotta go. You have it weighing down on your bladder, propelling you to the bathroom with only one thing on your mind. And when you get in there, you pause with trepidation. There's someone squatting in the next stall. Well, you don't want to be un-ladylike, do you? So you try to let out a little at a time, timidly and quietly. NO, I say! Let yourself go and don't draw it out.
Piss, dammit!
-- marcie.