Title: Work and... well, that's about it
Today's Gym Regime: Signed up for the gym (good start, eh?)
Random Babblings, Don't Be Afraid:
I must tell you this before anything else: Samuel L. Jackson was born to play Shaft. Born to it, I say.
Let me tell y'all the greatest thing about having a laptop with wireless Ethernet: you can sit in the bathroom and geek out to your little heart's content. Don't ask; I won't tell.
You know, I have no idea what to write about tonight. It's a quarter past eleven PM and I'm sitting here staring blankly at my screen. (Yes, this is different than usual. Smartasses...) Well, there's always work.
You, my loyal readers (all three of you) are undoubtedly sick unto death of hearing me bitch and moan about DotCom. Believe me, I'm more sick of it than you are. Since we're all on the same page here, review my day with me.
Today was unproductive, as this whole week has been. It wasn't just run-of-the-mill unproductive, like a typical Friday or Monday; it was soul-sucking. Today was frustrating, boring, and teetering on the edge of frantic hair-pulling all at the same time. That takes skill to achieve, my friends, don't think it doesn't. My non-PHB (the director of operations) is leaving for greener, closer pastures (the 90-mile commute each way was getting in the way of tending to his very pregnant wife) and his last day is tomorrow. At the same time, our security chief just turned in his resignation, and our Windows Cahoona has transferred into development, the bastard. We just hired a new Windows Cahoona about three weeks ago. Now, do all the math in your head, and you'll come up with with the number two, which is how many IT geeks are going to be left to run the systems: me and the new Windows geek. Eek. I am frightened. Truly.
I really am kind of scared. The boss is like my safety net, because he's the only one who appears to Really Know What's Going On. There are some seriously huge gaps in my knowledge of the Inner Workings of DotCom, namely concerning the firewall. All I know about it is it gets in my way an awful lot. (Well, duh, Marcie. That's its job. God, I'm brilliant today.) My boss and the security chief are the only two who know what's going on with the firewall. Did I mention the security chief turned in his resignation this week?
I have one more day in which to suck down all the knowledge I can swill from the boss, and about another week to get inside Security Dude's head before they both disappear from the radar screen. And I don't even know which machines the developers are working on right now. After they leave, I'm pretty much it as far as developer support goes on the Unix side. I am scared, indeed. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it. This is rather a silly little fear for me to have; I have three years sysadmin experience by this time, so supposedly I know what I'm doing. This is still my secondary skill, though, and I think it freaks me out to have something not come easily to me. Does that sound snobbish? Sorry. I'm one of those kids who slacked all through school because it all came easily, and freaked out when any actual effort was required. I am She of the Great Unfulfilled Potential. This job requires every bit of my attention and brainpower; everything I attempt has a fairly steep learning curve. I am not, by nature, a logical problem-solver, so this career keeps me on my toes.
Cry me a river, I know. God help me if I actually have to work for a living. I'm still freaked out by not having a backup.
Okay, here's something y'all probably didn't know about me, considering the cool, calm, collected facade I project (ha): I am a fucking control freak. Yes, it's true. If I can't get things exactly like I want them, when I want them, or if I can't at least predict how things are going to go, I fucking lose my shit. I do. It's a tendency I've been trying to thwart since childhood. It's strange, because I'm usually really laid back about things, until I feel like I have no say in what's happening around me, in which case I get annoying obsessive. Yes, this is incredibly arrogant of me to think I have any say in the events that happen to me. Still.
It explains my big freak-out about work.
Okay, this cowering timidity doesn't go well with my harsh BOFHish exterior. Forget I mentioned it. Moving on.
Tomorrow we have an all-hands staff meeting. I can't wait. According to the lunch-table grapevine, it's a typical Boulder hand-holding meeting to see how everyone feels about the direction of the company. After the round of Kumbyah and the group hug, one of the VP's is having a barbeque at his house. Too much fun for me to handle on a Friday afternoon. Besides, I'm being a good geek and meeting the trainer at the gym at 5:45. Be proud of me.
I bitched to the HR chick today about my massive weight gain while she clucked sympathetically and told me exactly what I wanted to hear ("No! You don't weigh THAT much! You don't look it! I don't believe it!"). God I love having chick friends again.
Addendum:
Incidentally, I need to redesign the site; it's boring me. A shuffle and re-arrangement would be fine; I don't need to start putting up loud backgrounds and blinky tags or anything, so don't be afraid. And I won't subject you to the daily cam picture like Dana. (Dana is a knockout, so she can do this all she wants; I'm just a freak. You people love me anyway.) Anyway, gimme input, people. I do this all for you. Feel the love.
-- marcie.