Title: Recovering from the holiday
Hearing: Whatever and Ever, Amen, Ben Folds Five
Feeling: Hungry, damn.
Back to Work, Oy:
Welp, I'm back in Denver after a crowded weekend. I know you missed me; don't deny it.
You people know how full of shit I am, don't you? I was going to go get arrested with Soulforce on Tuesday, but did I? I did not. But I had a good reason: I was visiting this really cute girl in Kansas. I wasn't going to go anywhere for the holiday; I was just going to stay here and work and do the protest thing. But Ian was going to see his dad, which isn't that far from where Cynthia lives, and well, I'm weak. She's still coming to town this weekend, so it's not like we couldn't have waited. But I am a dork and so I went with Ian and spent a couple of days with my girl. It was incredibly healing.
The upshot of all this is we got back around three this morning and crashed out hard. I didn't get into work until after noon today. Ahh, the life of a slacker. Work was schizo, as it tends to be. Apparently people who didn't know I was in class all last week thought I had run away and quit. Heh. No such luck, my children. Being a good sysadmin, I walked about upstairs to check up on the Kindergarten Class to see if they needed anything terribly urgently. Amazingly, Luser Developer Bitch only sent me ONE E-MAIL while I was gone harrassing me to do stuff for her. I may faint from shock.
Overall, everyone appears to be in good spirits, although I've been hearing rumors that people were screaming for me in the midst of chaos last week. My evil plan is coming to fruition... *evil cackle*
The best thing about work is we have a for-real, honest-to-Simon, no-kidding RELEASE DATE set for version 1.0. Holy shit. If we actually make it, I'll be amazed. This sentiment is echoed by my favorite developer; she's in the throes of The Product and is cynical about meeting deadlines. (That's why she's my favorite developer, you see.)
I Am A Lucky Bitch:
Dammit. If Cynthia keeps writing such undeservedly cool stuff about me, I'm going to have to invest in a box of Kleenex for my desk. (Despite that only about a fourth of this particular entry involves me, I'm still enough of a narcissist to preen over it. Because I can. Nyah.)
The part about her having nightmares is true, too; she woke up in the middle of the night a couple of nights ago and threw her arms around me. "I hadda bad dream," she mumbled into the back of my shirt. I turned over and put my arms around her, which is about all you can do in a situation like that. It's not like I can reach in her brain and pull the nightmares out, even if I wish I could. Which I do. So I held her and whispered to her until she could sleep again.
I hate that she has nightmares, but I'm glad I was there for this one. Usually I'm not able to be there. That is going to change soon. Thank God. The distance in this relationship is making me cranky. She and I had a huge argument over the phone the other night, basically about our insecurities and how it affects the relationship. Her demon is jealousy; mine is distance and fear that she's going to realize I'm a freak and dump me for someone less neurotic. I realize that's about as likely to happen as me dumping her; nonetheless, I have terrible insecurities about being left behind. This is an old issue of mine.
I have a girl who is slowly but surely tearing down the brick walls of my fear and insecurity one piece at a time and throwing them on the rubble heap. Thank God. I could never do it myself. It takes so much patience to deal with me. She has it in abundance.
She is everything I never knew I needed.
I am currently working on deserving her.
Grrf. Now I miss my girl. Time to send her e-mail.
-- marcie.