short japanese poetry

(Note: The above title is not meant to be a racially degrading comment, and should in no way be construed as such.

I have re-discovered a fun and nifty way to alleviate boredom, thanks to some of my boys on Eagle's Nest. Yes, it's my very own Page O' Haikus. Now, take note: I do not consider this to be violating my own No Poetry Rule, for a couple of reasons. One: none of these (so far) are mine. Two: The haikus that are here should not be taken seriously in ANY way whatsoever. Keep this in mind. If it's Serious Poetry you want -- or anything serious at all, for that matter -- why the hell are you visiting Penguin Dust?

Please, by all means, SUBMIT HAIKUS! But note the following guidelines before you do:

  1. All haikus must be in the 5-7-5 format. That is, the first line is composed of five syllables, the second line of seven syllables, and the last line of five syllables again. It's what I learned in English and literature class, so if you think it's the wrong format, tough. It's the right one for this.
  2. Please don't submit serious poetry, like about orchids or waterfalls or some shit. We here at Penguin Dust are not interested in the beauty of nature; we are interested in having some way to pass the time other than picking our noses and searching in vain for new South Park episodes on the tube. To this end, try to make your submissions witty, if not downright pithy.
  3. I will moderate this as little as possible, so unless you've forgotten how to use your spell checker or your entry is just completely stupid, you'll probably see it up here. Eventually. I don't do this for a living, you know.
  4. If I'm feeling generous and there is enough participation, I might run a contest for the best entry. I don't know yet what I'd award as a prize, since I sincerely doubt anyone who reads this web site would want my dirty laundry. We'll see.

The haikus thus far

i really dont care.
so shut the fuck up asshole.
or i will be mad.

w0b, 5 August 1999

marcie and i drank.
we had lots of rum and coke.
dykes forever now.

Slayer, 5 August 1999

acid entered "main"
he is a fucking dipshit
I want to kill him.

Vanyel, 5 August 1999

i randomly surfed
found penguin dust (weird but smart)
submitted haiku

Iain, 6 August 1999

my ass is damn rank
do not breathe the fucking air
or you'll be dead, bitch

cuinhell, 9 August 1999

customers are lame
fools and idiots can bite me
coke or go postal

Chris "Saundo" Saunderson, 9 August 1999

User Friendly Mug full
Monastery threaded on Gnus
Coffee and flame woo-woo!

Chris "Saundo" Saunderson, 11 August 1999

Just met a redhead
She was looking too damned hot
Damn shame that she's straight!

Nancy, 14 August 1999

there once was this slut
fucked everyone in the school
now she is your wife

cuinhell, 17 August 1999

a quiet chat room
what have you stumbled into?
welcome to the nest

...

wob is stoned again
slayer wants to fuck us all
welcome to the nest

...

marcie needs a chick
saundo hates his customers
welcome to the nest

...

sarge annoys us all
why do we put up with Al?
welcome to the nest

...

meg has quiet wit
moni is our sex goddess
welcome to the nest

...

k is a big prick
cerb is bofh at aol
welcome to the nest

...

lisa has teen angst
vanyel's wise beyond his years
welcome to the nest

...

cu hates the world
cyr is such a hardware geek
welcome to the nest

...

so there you have us
we're a pretty motley bunch
welcome...to the nest

morticia's masterpiece, 18 August 1999

Purple elephants
Floating around through the room
Where are they now, eh?

Nikki, 27 August 1999

caraway seeds spilled out
look like ants on the counter
sometimes I hate rye bread

shiny white metal can
holds dark and bubbling fluid
I guzzle diet coke

on this warm summer night
doughnut frosting drips, oozes
I need to wash my hands

Al, 6 September 1999

(Note: Al's entries follow a strange 6-7-6 meter, but since I like them, I'm putting them up anyway. It's my page, and I can. Nyah.)

Jobs really do suck
Especially hell desk work
So just say no way!

I program all day
I chat on nest all night long
And I sleep never

DontKnow, 17 October 1999

1.

slouching in my chair
pondering HTML
teenage nerdy Zen

still slouching in chair
computer addiction bad
my eyes are burning

still writing haikus
this is a geek on boredom
any more questions?

LiveJournal, e-mail
bash.org and AIM
addictive prison

last haiku verse now
I am slouching way too far
shit, fell out of chair.

2.

leftover chicken
cold grease on my fingertips
icky, but yummy

homemade cookie dough
too lazy to really bake
sugar equals God

ninety-six degrees
but at least I slept 'til noon
summer can be good

3.

I'm writing haikus
playing with the syllables
punctuation fun

?\
&*/
.~

4.

PERL and C++
HTML and BASIC
Gods, I'm such a nerd!

The Tanith, 1 August 2004